That awful thing, called Love

Before we had kids life was pretty easy and care free. If you wanted to go for dinner, you went for dinner. If you wanted to take a trip to Paris, you went to Paris. There was no worry about anything beyond you, and what the hell you were going to pack, how many shoes you were going to buy, and how many men you were going to meet..lol. Living your life, only worrying about you, yourself, and I. You loved your parents, sometimes you loved your siblings, you kind of pretended to love your friends (except me, I loved all my friends..lol) and you maybe loved some man (or woman) in your life. You didn’t really think about anything bad that can happen. Listening to the news was no problem, you would feel a little bad, flip the channel and move on. Boy, did things change after the birth..lol. When you become a parent, you become a vulnerable, mushy, extra sensitive, eye watering, soft hearted big piece of mush. Your whole vision of life changes. Every decision you make, affects the life of another person. It is an unconditional love that you will only understand once you have entered the realm of parenthood. You will forgive, forget and forbid a lot more. Trips to Paris; become trips to Disneyland. Planning does not consist of how many shoes do I bring, but, don’t forget the Rosary for the plane ride..lol. Emotions are raw and out there. You wear your heart on your sleeve. You learn that your life is more valued because you need to be around, to raise them. You realize that you may sometimes not “like” your child (which my mother tells me quite often.lol) but you always love them. You have that constant nagging worry and fear of the world and what’s out there. You become a savage if someone touches or harms your child (unless it’s you beating them.lol) You work and want all for them so that they can have everything life has to offer. I saw an Italian movie when I was a kid and it was called “Zappatore”, translation “The Farmer”. It was about an Italian farmer who raised his son and worked hard, day and night just so his son could become more than what he was. His son became a successful lawyer in the city and was marrying a rich girl from the city, all the while forgetting about his father and the roots he came from. The father went out to find his son on his wedding day to tell him the mother was ill and that she wanted to see her son for the last time. (I won’t tell you how it ended.lol) He forgave his son for the shame he carried because he was his father and he loved him still. Parents love unconditional. We love from the heart, we love from the soul. We reach out to help another parent in need, or another child in need, because we think, what if that was my child? Your life does change forever, it makes you a different person, a softer person a more responsible person. Children make us better people, they teach us that it’s not about the money we make, but it’s about the fun we make with them. They teach us that sometimes life doesn’t go as planned, and that we may forget to bring extra shoes, but we will not forget to bring the first aid kit.
A childless couple once asked me this question, “How is it being a parent?” and I answered, “It’s awful”. They looked at me with a confused look? I went on to explain, “It’s awful because it’s so amazing, we love so much, so hard, so full, that it just consumes us. The love of a child is painful because you want so much to protect and shelter them, that your heart fills with worry and love, all at the same time.” They kind of understood what I was saying (or maybe they thought I had drunk too much wine). I could not verbally explain to them, the love of a child. To know the love of a child, you have to become a parent. No words, books or songs can explain to anyone else the way it feels, you will have to feel it for yourself, and when you do, you will know. When you bring your child home, your future becomes theirs. That’s when you will feel that awful thing called love.
That’s my peace today!

Bolognese Sauce
1 pound minced meat
1/2 white onion finely chopped
1 clove garlic finely chopped
1 can tomato paste
1 jar tomato sauce
salt to taste
1/4 cup of Olive oil
(optional, chopped carrots and mushrooms)

Pour oil in saucepan, heat, add onions, garlic and meat (if you are going to add carrots/mushrooms add now). Cook until brown, add paste, stir then add jar of sauce. Bring to boil, add salt. Simmer on medium heat for another hour or so. Leave on low until ready to serve.