You were mom's favourite

Is there such a thing as a “favourite” child? Or is this just something siblings say to bug each other? I heard it my whole life, “Oh we know you’re dad’s favourite, it’s so obvious”. I deny it, my father denies it and we move on, until it comes up again.

When you don’t have children, it is very easy to assume that there can be such a thing. Even if you have 1 child, you still think that it is possible to have a favourite. When you are pregnant with the second child, you constantly wonder “what if I don’t love this baby as much as I love my first?” I am sure those words crossed your mind several times. Then once you have the second, and then maybe the third, and maybe the forth, you know that “favourites” do not exist.
Children are born with their own personalities. Their characters are pretty much clear at birth. They may be calm, happy, sensitive, or maybe they will be the class clown. I do believe the way we parent, plays a large role in their behaviour, but that their personalities are something they are born with. Sometimes I see a lot of characteristics of myself in my children; some of the good and some of the not so good. My son has my temper and my daughter has my bubbly character.

Sometimes we treat our kids differently because they react differently. I find myself more careful with my son , then with my daughter. This does not mean that he is my favourite, I just know that he is a little more high strung than her. She has a wonderful personality, she is sweet, she loves to share, and she is always looking out for others. I don’t take advantage of it, I praise it, and I appreciate it. I appreciate that she is easy going, sweet, and considerate. My son always accuses me of blaming him for everything and that he is the one always getting in trouble. He thinks she is my favourite. He doesn’t see that I am more patient with him, or that I always give him the benefit of the doubt, he just sees it as, me choosing her “side”.

Kids will always feel that they are being treated different than their siblings. It is just part of being a family. We as parents, are always reassuring them that they are all the same. We assure them that it is not humanly possible to love another child more than the other. We assure them that they are all special in their own way. We also assure them that they each have a place in our heart.

I do believe that we have different kinds of bonds and connections with our children. We hold different memories and share different stories with them. We love them all the same, not any more, not any less, than the other. I now know that I am not my father’s favourite because there is no such thing. We just get along because, our characters get along.
We love our kids individually for who they are, individually. They each carry their own strength, they each carry their own weakness. It is our job as parents, to try to mesh it all together, and make it work as a family unit. It is not an easy process, but a necessary one. Just know, even if we master this skill, one day you will probably hear one of your kids shouting to their sibling, “You were always mom’s favourite.” When you hear this; just grin, walk away, and ignore it, they will figure it out one day, when they become parents.

That’s my peace today!

Turkey Soup
2 turkey drumsticks or thighs
2 carrots, peeled
2 celery stalks
1 white onion
1/2 bunch parsley
1 sweet potato
1/4 butternut squash
package of pasta shells (optional)

Boil turkey in a large pot for 20 minutes. Drain water and put fresh water, should reach 3/4 way of pot. Add veggies and parsley. Boil for 1 1/2 hours. Boil pasta seperate and add to individual bowls with soup.