"I will never do that with my kids"

Before we became parents we had these expectations and belief of how parenting should be. No candy, no milk before bed, no back talking and no sharing a bed with our kids. We would look at moms who spanked their kids’ bums as abusers, and mean. We looked at moms that did not discipline at all, as push over’s. We believed that these mothers are raising monsters and potential serial killers.lol.

That is what we do as people. We judge. We judge other women. We judge other mothers. We don’t always see our own faults’, we like to see other mother’s faults. We tell our other mother friends, what these “bad” mothers did. We tell our husbands what these “not so loving” mothers did. We tell our own mothers, we will have more patience than they did. It is human nature to feel like we will do better than others. We believe that we will do a better job when we have kids, that we won’t lose our patience, or that we won’t yell at our kids. We have this belief that parenting is simple. We have kids, they listen and we sing and dance everyday with them. We have this belief that they will potty train without any effort; they will lose their bottle, and their pacifier, because we tell them too. We have this belief that they will learn how to read when they are supposed to, and we have this belief that we will have all the time in the world for activities, games and all day colouring.

It is only then, when you have your own kids that life with children begins to unravel, and things become clear. A few years ago, I was in a shoe store with my older kids and my daughter (who was only 2 at the time) began to pull a fit and a tantrum because she wanted these Dora boots. My husband was willing to buy these boots, but I said no. I said no because she already had a pair of boots, and she didn’t need a new pair. So she is screaming, crying, just going nuts. There was a couple with a new born baby, just staring and giving me this dirty look, like I had done something wrong. They just wanted her to shut up, and for me to make it happen. Something came over me at that moment, I just saw red and I wanted them to know. I looked right back at them with the same dagger look they were giving me, and then I spoke, “How dare you look at me, you don’t understand what a toddler fit is yet, but you will one day, very soon, and when you do, I want you to think about this moment, and what it will feel like to have someone like you, look at me, and judge me! How dare you.” With that being said, I turned around took my daughter and left the store. Mouths were opened, the cashier was smiling, and I said my peace. When I left that store, I can almost guarantee you that this couple thought I was nuts, and that the situation with my tantrum daughter, will NEVER happen to them.

You can never win when you are a parent. You are constantly being judged, criticized and questioned. People wonder if what you do is the right thing to do, and how they will do it differently. This is all part of being human. I say shame on us. Shame on us that we think we are better than others, shame on us that we judge people. We should all sympathise and understand that being a parent is the hardest job in the world. Sometimes we do the “right” things, sometimes not so much. It is a learning process, everyday is different. It is a job we cannot prepare for and study for. We are all in this together. We are all part of the same team. We are all parents; mothers; fathers. We will all eventually pass every baby stage, toddler stage and the ever dreaded, teenage stage with our kids. Let’s stick together, share notes, share ideas, share solutions. Let’s not judge, criticize and mock. Let’s not tell a mother that may be having a hard time at that moment, “I will never do that with my kids.” Because if you do, be prepared that one day, that mother may be you!
That’s my peace today!

Tomato Sauce
Many of you have asked me what sauce I use. I use 2 brands. Pastene and Bella Tavola. Although I mix with home made sauce,if you don't have home made then use these brands. I always mix one of these cans with home made jar.

2 jars of Pastene or Bella Tavola
1 white onion
4 cloves garlic
8 fresh basil leaves
salt and oregano to taste
4 tbsp oil

In a blender put onion, garlic and blend. Add sauce with 1/4 cup of water and blend to liquify. In a saucepan, heat oil, add sauce and allow to come to boil. Add salt and oregano. Lower to medium high for 15 minutes, lower to medium low for another 15 minutes.