Girls will be girls

Raising daughters is obviously quite different than raising boys. You have to factor in hormones, fashion, phone calls, make-up, and DRAMA. There is always drama when girls are involved. I know, I grew up with 3 sisters. There is a little bit of competition, envy, and sheer silliness when you deal with girls. It is very important to teach them how to be strong in mind and body.

My daughter will be 6 in March. She is in Senior Kindergarten and she is a very pleasant little girl. She is always happy and laughing. She has many friends at school. She makes friends easily with the boys and the girls. She definitely has her own fashion sense. As long as it glitters or shines, she is wearing it. She has a great personality, she is fun spirited and she doesn’t take too many things serious. (She gets that from me)

On Friday, she came home quite upset. She told me that her teacher split her 2 “friends” Sophie and Sophia. I asked why and she explained to me that they were being mean to her. Every time she would go beside them, they would run away and laugh. The teacher realized what was going on so she didn’t allow the 2 girls to play with one another. I then went on to ask her why she continues to speak to them and she said “Because mommy, they are my friends.” I try to explain to her that she doesn’t need them, she has so many other friends that adore her, but she is just adamant about being their friend.

We women have a tendency to just do what we are not really “supposed” to do. We like the bad boys, we chase the delinquents, we transform the nerds into hotties, and we make friends with the mean girls. I think we are just glutton for punishment. We love to do the opposite. It makes us feel like we are in control. I don’t even think we even care about what we are doing, we just do it.

How can I teach my daughter to walk away from those girls that are not so nice? How do I explain to her that they are being mean to her because they have insecurities about themselves? How do I let her know that there is nothing wrong with her, but they are the ones with the problem? Her teacher was there to protect her at school against those girls, but she will not always be there. My daughter is confident with herself, she doesn’t care that they ran away. It hurt her feelings, but it didn’t stop her from talking to them the next day. In fact, she wants to invite them to her birthday party.

I am going to try my best to be an adult and forgive their behaviour because they are just kids.
My job is way more important than that. My job is to teach her to walk away and be the better person. My job is to let her know that she cannot control other people’s behaviour, but she can control how she handles it. We all have a choice in life on how to behave and treat other people. My children have taught me that. My daughter did not hold a grudge, or anger for these girls, she still called them her friends. Who am I to tell her that she shouldn’t be the nicer person?

She will have her whole life to make decisions on how to handle tough situations. She will learn on her own, that she should not accept mean behaviour from other people. She will learn that her “true” friends will always like her, no matter what. She will learn that people will say mean things and do mean things and that they can intentionally hurt your feelings. I need her to learn that on her own. I cannot pave that way for her; she will have to smooth the bumps on herself.

It will hurt me to see her feelings hurt, but that is the only way she will learn how to deal with it the next time. I cannot call each and every little girl that offends her. I cannot give their mother’s a dirty look and key their car..lol. The only thing I can do for my daughter; and all my 4 kids, is to listen and bite my tongue and let them figure it out on their own. One day the innocence will fade and all that will be left is the reality that there are mean people out there who are not so nice. They will learn and understand one day, that girls will be always be..girls.
That’s my peace today!

Fungi Risotto
1 pack portabello mushrooms
6 oyster mushrooms
6 cremini mushrooms
1/4 cup flour
1 cup uncooked risotto
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup white wine
2 cup chicken stock
3 tbsp butter

Slice all the mushrooms, wash, pat dry and roll in flour. Heat a heavy pan, add oil, place all mushrooms and sautee, add half the wine and salt the mushrooms. Cook for about 10 min and put aside. Meanwhile in another heavy pan, melt butter, add rice and toast for about 1 minute. Add the stock, 1/4 cup at a time. Keep stirring until cooked about 25 min(you may have to add some water if it begins to stick). Once the rice is cooked with no liquid left, add the cooked mushrooms and stir together.