They will still love you

If you are anything like me then right about now you are scouring the stores high and low to find exactly what is on our children’s wish list. Things that are big, small, tacky and just plain messy. We do our best to find what they want; at any cost. We are parents of the millennium, we want to please them and make them happy. My question to you is; do we do it because we want them to have it? Or do we buy it for them because we don’t want to hear them whine about it?

3 nights ago I was at a local children’s store with my 5 year old daughter. The story (to back track) is that she does not like her snow suit from last year because it is purple and too puffy. The whole winter last year she drove me nuts every morning because she was refusing to put this darn jacket in the morning. When I realized this year it still fit her, I reminded her that she had this perfectly new snowsuit and she starting whining. I figured ok, I made her wear it last year, so this year we will buy her a new one. Anyway, we went looking around to find her a new winter jacket. She found me on a good night because I was patient and willing to amuse her little request of finding EXACTLY what she wanted. So we end up at this store where she just fell IN LOVE with a jacket that happened to be a little tight on her. The saleswoman was telling me she couldn’t possibly wear it because she looked ridiculous in it. I was trying to convince her that we would find another one bla bla bla. Well there happened to be a mother from her school there buying something for her son. After a while (lets’ say 15 minutes) of my daughter battling with me, I FINALLY put my foot down and said, “That is it, it doesn’t fit you, find something else or we are leaving with NOTHING!” Well, this mother just turned to me and said, “You’re pretty good, I would have thrown her in the car a long time ago.” I laughed the insult off (because let’s face it, she insulted my parenting) and I got what I had to get, saluted her and left.

I was wrong and I knew it. We are the parents, it is our job to control EVERY situation with them. I don’t care if it is for a jacket, boots, or to stay up late, we are the boss. Sometimes we don’t want to disappoint them and make them upset, and that is ok, but they should know we rule the home; not them. Children try to battle for power; some win, some never do. I think that if you are a parent, it is your job to discipline and guide your children. We cannot possibly give them everything they want because not only are we creating spoiled, ungrateful children, then we are actually ruining their view on what life is all about.

Children need to know that in life if you want something you have to work hard at it. My children are given a weekly allowance. They must complete daily jobs around the house in order to earn their pay. At the end of the week they have the choice to spend it, or save it for something they really want. Dr. Phil once said that spoiling your children, is a form of child abuse. Although this may sound extreme to you, I actually agree. We are setting our children up for disappointment in life if we do everything they ask of us. How will they feel when they want to befriend someone that doesn’t want to befriend them? They will expect to have anything or anyone, and won’t you feel sorry for them then, when they will not get everything they want.

My parents raised us well. They bought us all the necessaties of life, rewarded us when they saw fit, and we NEVER lacked anything. My mother tells me all the time that our generation is ruining our children. Then she asked me if I ever really hated her? I thought about it (besides some Friday nights in my teenage years, I never hated my mother). She told me this, “When I would punish you, or not get you something you really wanted, I would feel bad but I never went back on my word..if it was no, it stayed no.” I thought about it and realized she was right. She didn’t raise spoiled children; we all turned out well, so she must have known what she was doing.

We love our kids, and we want the best of everything for them. We want our kids to never want, but maybe sometimes they should want something badly. Maybe sometimes they should know that they just can’t get something, for whatever reason. Try it out and you will see that they won’t hate you for putting your foot down, they will still want you as their parent; and they most definitely will still love you.
That’s my peace today!

Italian Panettone French Toast
This is a great Italian version of french toast

1 Panettone loaf (Pandora is best)
4 eggs
2/3 cup milk
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp butter for frying

Maple syrup or icing sugar and sliced fruit for topping

Slice the panettone into thick slices that resemble toast bread. Beat eggs and milk, add cinnamon. Dip each slice into mixture coating both sides. Place in heated pan with butter and fry each side for about 4 minutes. Place in a plate and sprinkle icing sugar or maple syrup and sliced fruit.