It is confirmed...I am not the only one

We all like to think of ourselves as good people. We take pride in our accomplishments and we take pride in our family. We are taught from when we are little that we should mind our manners and be polite to others. We learn how to keep secrets, and we learn that we should not always tell our teachers what mommy and daddy say to each other when they are upset. We just learn to behave and conform to every one’s expectation of what “normal” is.

I can tell you, over 9 years ago, my “normal” changed. Not the definition of normal, but my normal with myself and others. I remember feeling overwhelmed and raw after I joined the world of motherhood. The feeling of naivety and paranoia. It is something I did not understand and even care to understand. I pretended to everyone that it was all good, and life was as “normal” as the next person.

We just assume that everyone else is doing a better job. We assume that their home is neater, cleaner and their children are more behaved than our own. I know I have told my own children things like, “Daniel would never say that to his mother” or “Daniel helps his mom out all the time” and when I say things like that, I guess I can say that I am only assuming. I don’t live in Daniel’s house, so I don’t know how Daniel treats his mom when I am not there.

I think that sometimes we (at least I am) too hard on ourselves. We want so much to be a good parent; a role model; a perfect wife that we don’t realize that we most likely are. Sometimes I question myself and my own thoughts. I wonder if it’s “normal” to want space from your child that is constantly begging you for next year’s birthday gift a day after this year’s birthday. I sometimes wonder if it’s “normal” to want to run up to bed before my husband, so I can get some well deserved sleep. And I also wonder if it’s “normal” to enjoy leaving my kids for an hour so I can go exercise.

We have friends that we confide in. Some of us are lucky enough to have sisters to talk to, and some even go to the extent of discussing these things with their own mothers..lol. And if you have great people in your life like I do, then they will tell you that everything we think and question and wonder is “normal”...is. They will back you up and tell you that they too have those feelings. They will not listen and silently judge, but instead, they will add in to the conversation and add some of their own frustrating examples of their own spouses and sometimes spoiled children. They will reassure you that you are a good mother, and you are not screwing your kids up by sending them to their room for being rude. They will reassure you that life is not always greener on the other side, and in fact, weeds grow much quicker on perfectly landscaped lawn, than on ones that are run on, rolled on, and laughed on.

Today, I am speaking for all the mothers that ever felt like they were alone. I am speaking for all the mothers who ever questioned if they were good mothers. I am speaking for all the mothers that have ever wondered if what they are feeling is “normal”. I am speaking for all mothers who actually THINK that mothers really do “Bake in heels”.

With age comes wrinkles, crow’s lines, and most importantly, what comes with age is experience. It is the experience to know that we are great at what we do, as long as we do it with good intention; love and strength. We learn that when we try our best, good things happen. We also learn that in our hectic lives of motherhood there are moments of reflection; moments of silence; and moments of gracefulness. And when sometimes you wonder or you question if what you are thinking, or what you just said to your child was a “normal” thing for a mother to say, then pick up the phone and call another mother. You will realize and it will be confirmed...that you are not the only one!
That’s my peace today!

Roasted Red Pepper Panino
3 red peppers
2 cloves garlic
6 large springs of basil
1/4 cup olive oil
salt and oregano
4 large buns

Roast peppers on grill or in oven, for at least 30 minutes (flip half wa through) let cool. Peel skin off peppers and with your hands, seperate peppers in strips. Place in a bowl. Add cut garlic, oil, salt, oregano and basil. Toss to make sure it is well coated. (you can add more oil if it is not oily enough) Divide evenly into 4 large buns. You can grill on a presser if you choose too.