I was listening to the song from Hedley and although I love that song, and although the song is about 2 lovers, I felt the words just stuck to me because I related it to my life everyday as a mother.
This past month my husband and I ventured sans les kids to Niagara for 2 nights. Some may have thought it would be almost impossible to do since I have so many darn kids and that I would not be able to pay people large amounts of money to leave my kids with them. But I was lucky that my mother and mother in law agreed to stay (free of charge..lol) with the little rugrats, so we were able to go. It was a very late 10 year Anniversary get away (which we celebrated last October)lol. So we left the kids and had 2 nights of adults only. I have to say, it was nice.
I love being with my kids (when they sleep) lol, no but seriously, I think getting a break from them sometimes is great. It does not happen very often for us, but when it does I really appreciate it. Life can be very hectic, you wonder where the time goes, and sometimes, you wish for the days to come to an end just so you can go to sleep. Being a parent is a very hard job, and I don’t care if you have1 kid or if you have 6 kids, when you are a parent, your mind does not belong to you anymore, it belongs to the little people you brought into this world. Sometimes as a couple you get so enthralled in your kids lives that you forget about the life you have together as a couple.
I hear it all the time from couples that have older kids, “Oh you will see when the kids grow up you will have more time together as a couple.” How about if I don’t want to wait until then? How about if I want to have time with my husband now? Does that make me a bad person? Does it make me a bad mother? Is it so wrong to admit that sometimes you just want to crawl under a rock and tell your kids “no hablo anglais?” We are young now. Just because we are raising kids it does not mean we have to lose our identity of who we were before them. We are not bad parents if we admit to people that we like our kids to go to bed early so we can have some downtime. We are not bad people if we want to go watch a movie once in a while with our mates. We are not bad people if we enjoy the occasional “girls night”. That is what life is all about. We are people before we are parents.
I remember my sister told me once that is was ok to want to do something selfish for myself. I thought she was nuts because she did not have kids yet, and I just assumed she did not understand. I thought to myself, “am I a bad mother if I openly say that I enjoy wanting a spa weekend or a night out with some friends. She said to me, “you are a woman before you are a mother.” A t the time it did not register. At the time I thought she was being a feminist, and at the time I never would have agreed. I have grown since then, I do realize that in order for me to be a happy mother, I need to be a happy person first.
Our children do not make us who we are, they just compliment our lives. We should not describe ourselves as mothers, but instead as women that have children. When you are a parent, there is no greater person in the world, there is no greater love in the world, and there is no stronger emotion in the world than that you feel for your child. But that does not mean we should feel guilty for admitting we want a break. It does not mean that sometimes we want to change our name to daddy..lol..and it does not mean that we would not give up our life for them. All it means is that from the day we had our children we had an instant bond, an instant love, and an instant connection. It means that we will do anything for them at any time of the day. I say it all the time; my father will still leave his home at midnight if I needed something. But that does not mean he does not deserve time alone. It does not mean he does not deserve time with my mother. It just means he will do what he can for me when I need something.
I know it will get easier and before I know it, they will be preparing for University and I will look back and wonder where all the time has gone. I know that life flies faster than we ever thought it would, and I know I have to enjoy them every day of their tiny lives.
There is not one day that I do not thank God for my children, but there is also not 1 day that I don’t feel like pulling a Thelma and Louise..lol. But I say, that is what life is all about. It is about learning every step of the way. It is about listening to other people’s advice when you think they may be right. It is about finding out the hard way sometimes that our kids really do hate us when they are teenagers.
I don’t know how I will be when I am 50 years old. I can only try to be the person I am now at 25..lol..(ok add 10 to that)..lol. I am trying everyday to be a good mother; I am trying everyday to be a good role model to my kids. I am trying everyday to be a woman before being a mother. I am trying to keep the silent I promise I made to myself when I became a mother; to be the best I can be. And I know I can only do that one day at a time, one step at a time, 1 breath at a time and I now know that I am not perfect, but I keep trying, because that’s what I said I would do from the start.
That’s my peace today!
Rapini and White Bean Panini
1 bunch rapini, washed cut into 2 inch pieces
2 cloves crushed garlic
2 cups white beans
1/4 cup olive oil
4 large buns
salt to taste
Boil rapini for 4 minutes, salt water.Drain and cool. Strain out water once cooled and menawhile add oil and garlioc to a heated pan. Add rapini and beans. Mix and almost mash the 2 together.Add salt. Remove from stove, cut the panini in half and open like a book. Add rapini and beans. (If you have a panini press you can heat the bread once stuffed.)
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Summer 2010
Well another summer is almost over and in 2 weeks our kids will be going back to school. They will be going back to homework, lunches and early morning wake up calls. Their vacation will be over and they will be stuck in a building for 6 and half hours a day. They will be in a classroom learning the dos and don’ts of life, and how to multiply without using a calculator.
Summer is a great time of year. The weather is awesome and the traffic is light. Everyone always seems to be in a better mood, and barbeques are a weekly event. It is the time of year when we all try to reunite with family to share a few laughs over a bonfire pit to tell stories. Our kids have over2 months to unwind and distress from the past year in school.
My son will be starting Grade 4 and my daughter will be starting Grade 1. I just sit back and try to remember where the days have gone? We are always in such a rush to get things moving along. We are always in such a rush for the days to come to an end and for the next day to begin, that we forget that they are flying faster than we can think. My son is going into the junior part of elementary. He is entering the stage where it will not be cool to get a hug from me, and I don’t know if I am quite ready for that yet.
It seems like kids just change over the summertime. I remember when I was growing up, the boys would leave grade 6 and would start grade 7 in full grown moustaches and beards..lol. Or the girls that left with flat chests came back wearing a size B bra and full hips. It’s like the summer was their time to grow in peace, with no interruptions. The days off at home gives our kids time to reflect and grow into who they need to become. It is a time where they will figure out that mosquitoes come out after 9pm, and it is a time where they will learn that standing too close to the fire pit will burn a small hole in their new t-shirt.
This summer has been wonderful. My kids laughed, my kids played and my kids grew as people. They have made memories that I will only hear about when they themselves are parents. They have also made memories that I will not forget. Like 2 weeks ago when Joseph accidentally stepped on a wasp’s nest and allowed dozens of angry wasps to sting him 5 times, his sister once and his 2 cousins on their little bodies. Or this past week when he screamed for me to run upstairs because my twins grabbed a tub of Vaseline and decided to cover themselves head to toe in this impossible to remove petroleum jelly, which happened to be on the same day as my niece’s baptism. Or the time when my daughter decided that it was ok to use a full bottle of shampoo on her babies’ hair and created more bubbles than a tacky wedding video from the 90’s, or a month ago when my twins decided to create their first masterpiece of scribbles with pen on my freshly painted walls, and just 2 nights ago when my older two abruptly woke me up to tell me they had to vomit, and made it just in time to the washroom. These are the days that will be missed and cherished. These are the days that we will remember. We forget that they probably made us cry at the time. We forget that it probably made us scream at the time, and we forget that at these moments our language may have been considered R rated by child protection services. We forget these things because what sticks in our minds is how hard we laughed about it after.
Soon the school doors will open, and the recess bells will ring. The knapsacks will be filled with books and the mornings will be loud and chaotic. The kids will roll their eyes when they sneak a peek at their lunch, and they will whine and complain when the lights go down at night.
The summer will soon be a distant memory for them and they will pick up at school to begin a new year of friends, a new year of fun, and a new year of memories. I just feel grateful that I was a part of their memories from the summer of 2010.
That’s my peace today!
Fresh Tomato and Basil Sauce
This is perfect for these summer days because the tomatoes are fresh in your local farms
6 large tomatoes chopped in large pieces
2 cloves crushed garlic
4 large bunches of chopped basil
1/4 c olive oil
2 tbsp pitted black Italian olives
1 tsp oregano (dry or fresh)
salt to taste
In a deep stainless steal pan, pour oil, add garlic and heat. Add chopped tomatoes, sprinle salt and oregano. Cook for 10 minutes on medium heat. Add olives and basil. Cook for another 2 minutes. Remove from heat and pour sirectly on cooked pasta.
Summer is a great time of year. The weather is awesome and the traffic is light. Everyone always seems to be in a better mood, and barbeques are a weekly event. It is the time of year when we all try to reunite with family to share a few laughs over a bonfire pit to tell stories. Our kids have over2 months to unwind and distress from the past year in school.
My son will be starting Grade 4 and my daughter will be starting Grade 1. I just sit back and try to remember where the days have gone? We are always in such a rush to get things moving along. We are always in such a rush for the days to come to an end and for the next day to begin, that we forget that they are flying faster than we can think. My son is going into the junior part of elementary. He is entering the stage where it will not be cool to get a hug from me, and I don’t know if I am quite ready for that yet.
It seems like kids just change over the summertime. I remember when I was growing up, the boys would leave grade 6 and would start grade 7 in full grown moustaches and beards..lol. Or the girls that left with flat chests came back wearing a size B bra and full hips. It’s like the summer was their time to grow in peace, with no interruptions. The days off at home gives our kids time to reflect and grow into who they need to become. It is a time where they will figure out that mosquitoes come out after 9pm, and it is a time where they will learn that standing too close to the fire pit will burn a small hole in their new t-shirt.
This summer has been wonderful. My kids laughed, my kids played and my kids grew as people. They have made memories that I will only hear about when they themselves are parents. They have also made memories that I will not forget. Like 2 weeks ago when Joseph accidentally stepped on a wasp’s nest and allowed dozens of angry wasps to sting him 5 times, his sister once and his 2 cousins on their little bodies. Or this past week when he screamed for me to run upstairs because my twins grabbed a tub of Vaseline and decided to cover themselves head to toe in this impossible to remove petroleum jelly, which happened to be on the same day as my niece’s baptism. Or the time when my daughter decided that it was ok to use a full bottle of shampoo on her babies’ hair and created more bubbles than a tacky wedding video from the 90’s, or a month ago when my twins decided to create their first masterpiece of scribbles with pen on my freshly painted walls, and just 2 nights ago when my older two abruptly woke me up to tell me they had to vomit, and made it just in time to the washroom. These are the days that will be missed and cherished. These are the days that we will remember. We forget that they probably made us cry at the time. We forget that it probably made us scream at the time, and we forget that at these moments our language may have been considered R rated by child protection services. We forget these things because what sticks in our minds is how hard we laughed about it after.
Soon the school doors will open, and the recess bells will ring. The knapsacks will be filled with books and the mornings will be loud and chaotic. The kids will roll their eyes when they sneak a peek at their lunch, and they will whine and complain when the lights go down at night.
The summer will soon be a distant memory for them and they will pick up at school to begin a new year of friends, a new year of fun, and a new year of memories. I just feel grateful that I was a part of their memories from the summer of 2010.
That’s my peace today!
Fresh Tomato and Basil Sauce
This is perfect for these summer days because the tomatoes are fresh in your local farms
6 large tomatoes chopped in large pieces
2 cloves crushed garlic
4 large bunches of chopped basil
1/4 c olive oil
2 tbsp pitted black Italian olives
1 tsp oregano (dry or fresh)
salt to taste
In a deep stainless steal pan, pour oil, add garlic and heat. Add chopped tomatoes, sprinle salt and oregano. Cook for 10 minutes on medium heat. Add olives and basil. Cook for another 2 minutes. Remove from heat and pour sirectly on cooked pasta.
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