Ok so summer 2016 is almost half way done. We have had record hot temperatures and the humidex is off the charts. I have decided I am befriending people with pools, so if anyone would like to offer, i am in!
I remember my summers as a kid, it was pretty much, wake up, go outside to see who was with me for the day, go for my daily bike ride or a walk to Beckers to buy a 15 cent freezie, and that was it. There was no IPAD or computer or device of any kind, and you know what else there wasn't anything of ??... whining. Whining was not allowed. If i dare ask my mother to go out or do something fun and exciting, she literally laughed in my face. She gave me siblings, that was her duty to provide ongoing entertainment for the rest of my natural existence on this earth. And she was not the only one who thought that way, it was a whole cult of moms that joined forces to instill in our tiny little brains that we had to entertain ourselves. So we did! Don't get me wrong, we did do family stuff on the weekends and we had fun, but during the week - we made our own fun.
Let me ask you this...when was the last time you saw kids outside playing hide and go seek? I dare you to ask your kids what that is and they will look at you like you just told them that we didn't have flat screen tvs - baffled. When was the last time you saw kids throwing water balloons or going threw a sprinkler? I know when i suggest a sprinkler to my kids its, "mom but the water is cold", and questions like, "do we just run through it? that's it? that's the activity?"
We didn't have Vaughan Mills, Aritzia or Justice, the only justice we knew was when our parents stubbed their toe after reaming us for not making our beds.
I love my kids, they are good sweet children, but i will admit, they are a pain in my as* sometimes. Daily questions, "Mom what are doing today" "Mom where are we going now?" "Mom, can we go to the mall, i NEED another pair of really expensive runners that I will ruin in a week because I know that when I ruin them, you will bring me to buy another pair." And the money, holy Jesus, I cant even go to Starbucks without needing to apply for a loan. Starbucks...can you imagine if our mothers brought us for a Frappocino? hahahahha the Frappocino we got was an egg whipped up with some sugar, that was our "frapp"acino.
Kids just don't get it. They don't understand that spending $25 on whipped beverages is a lot of money. They don't get that going to Dave and Busters was for a classmates birthday and not to kill time before dinner, or that going to the drive-in last week was a privilege! But it's not their faults. Its our fault. We have created a world for them that revolves around them. We cater to their needs, we allow them to be "bored" and to spend time on their IPAD when they should be outside playing with friends.
I don't want to critisize because I do appreciate that our kids can still enjoy life without devices, frappocinos and daily trips to the mall. That sometimes we entertain them because its easier for us, and it makes us happy to see them happy. Mothers always have the best intentions for our children. Whatever we do, we do it because we love them and we want them to be happy. But I know we also want to raise children that can figure out how to manage life without constant glitz and glamour. To figure out that some days we should just "hang out" grab a ball and go to the park.
I know that giving my kid an IPAD or turning the tv on is an easy way for them to be entertained. Or taking them for a cool $10 refreshment allows me to get one too. And going to get a manicure or pedicure with my daughters may be considered a bonding experience, but let me just say this...let's try it. Let's go out and buy a $10 sprinkler instead of a $10 Frapp and throw it outside on the yard. Maybe get a bucket with water and Palmolive dish soap (the green one for nostalgia) and get the kids to make their own bubbles. Let's sit back and have a good old fashioned 1986 summer. A summer filled with the occasional "dickie Dee" and an old fashioned game of hide and go seek. Ask your kids to call on the neighbourhood kids and start up a baseball game at the dead end of the street, and ask them to practice summer saults and cart wheels on the grass instead of in the house, and I bet the fat on my behind that they will have a very memorable, awesome, creative and fun filled summer. No rewards or tokens of monetary value for good behaviour. Their reward will be the memory that will be created in their minds. The memories of summer time fun outside sitting on the green box talking with friends, and going for a bike ride. The memories that make childhood feel like it should. Make memories so that the story can begin with "Remember when Jenna couldn't find me because i hid under the poison ivy in the back forest, instead of remember when i couldn't find Pokeman on my Ipod."
It's time to introduce summer to our kids. Let them know that July and August are for fun in the sun, free of Frappocinos and outfits from Iviva. Go on the fun day at Wonderland, or the splash pad but also get them to learn how to have fun on their own. Get that BPA free, retractable garden hose and throw it on the landscaped lawn, pump up the ice cold hose water and attach it to the "Made for Tv" sprinkler and let them run through and "open up the drapes". Sit back with other moms, a glass of sangria and a bowl of popcorn and enjoy going back to the 80s with your kids. Go back to the time when we ran through a sprinkler, played hide and go seek, rode our bikes and really enjoyed summer time as summer time.
that's my peace today!
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Monday, July 4, 2016
What? I'm not cool???
Ok so the worst thing in the world happened to me last week! Ok, I may be exaggerating slightly, ok i am exaggerating a lot! But just the same, it was terrible!
My kids and I went for our usual Tim Horton's run. My medium 2 milk and 1 sugar addiction. I pulled into the parking lot and went to the drive thru, we turned around quickly because the line up was too long and I just didn't have the time to wait the 10 min.
As we were leaving the parking lot something big happened, something HUGE, something so big that it took me some time to get over, and I'm not sure if I am over it yet! Joseph, (my 15 year old) was sitting in the front side passengers seat, suddenly ducked into his feet! In plain site, broad daylight, just hunched over and disappeared! What? What the heck was going on? I was so confused? Was he vomiting, was he tying his shoe that didn't even have laces?what was it? what happened????
As I was pondering over the reasons why my son suddenly dropped like he was told there was going to be an emergency landing, I saw them. I saw the reasons why my son that I gave birth to only 15 years ago, humped over in his seat. 4 young ladies were standing in the parking lot. 4 cute, sweet looking, 15 year old girls.
I gasped, I laughed and then I gasped again. I said, "Omg Joseph did you just duck for your life because of those girls over there? Please tell me you have to throw up and that's the reason, don't let the reason be because you are embarrassed of me," he laughed and said "Mom, are we out of the parking lot?" OMG, it was the reason.
When he got up, he was giggling, and so were my other 3 kids in the back. I said, "could it be Joseph? are you embarrassed to be with your mother on a Thursday night? Aren't I cool enough for you anymore?" He replied, "Mom, they go to my school." School? So?????? Who cares if they go to your school???
You guys don't understand...my son adored me! I was the cool mom, the mom that managed his hockey team, the mom that his friends all talked to, the woman that when he was 2, wanted to marry! That used to be me! What happened? Was I not cool anymore? This sort of thing didn't happen to me! Not me!
I began to tell him that I pulled the move a million times when I was a teenager, but that's because Nonna and Nonno were not cool like me. They were not cool parents, they were parents. Like the parents that people don't want to hang out with, the parent's that were annoying and strict and not fun, those kind of parents. Was that me?
I was so distraught about what had just happened that the next day while visiting Am, my sister, I repeated the story. My sister and her husband burst my bubble. I wasn't cool. I was his mom and no matter how cool I think I really am, i am not!
Life has a very funny way of working itself out. There is a saying in Italian that I will translate, "The wheel turns". Simple enough philosophy. We start off being the students, the ones that learn and listen. We take some pieces of knowledge and we grow. We go through stages and we transition into new ones. We never think that what we learned, what we did and how we behaved would transfer into our little offsprings; we were different, we were us, we were hip. Um, not so much!
I went from being someone's daughter to being someone's mother. I may think that I know it all, i am the coolest, most fashionable and most adorable mother, but guess what...I'm not! I guess I have to be ok with my new "role" of, not so cool mom, although I still have some cool days left with my little ones, but the fact remains, last Thursday, realization came into play.
Diana is not a cool mom, Diana is a mom that her son ducks down to hide from girls, and a mom that has changed her role. But you see, the wheel, it turns, and one day, my cool hand Joseph son will be driving his offspring to the nearest Tim Horton's coffee shop (yes they will still be around) and he will have that same gazed, confused look on his face when his child ducks and disappears in plain site, and when that happens, I guarantee you, he too will think, "What? I'm not cool?"
That's my peace today!
My kids and I went for our usual Tim Horton's run. My medium 2 milk and 1 sugar addiction. I pulled into the parking lot and went to the drive thru, we turned around quickly because the line up was too long and I just didn't have the time to wait the 10 min.
As we were leaving the parking lot something big happened, something HUGE, something so big that it took me some time to get over, and I'm not sure if I am over it yet! Joseph, (my 15 year old) was sitting in the front side passengers seat, suddenly ducked into his feet! In plain site, broad daylight, just hunched over and disappeared! What? What the heck was going on? I was so confused? Was he vomiting, was he tying his shoe that didn't even have laces?what was it? what happened????
As I was pondering over the reasons why my son suddenly dropped like he was told there was going to be an emergency landing, I saw them. I saw the reasons why my son that I gave birth to only 15 years ago, humped over in his seat. 4 young ladies were standing in the parking lot. 4 cute, sweet looking, 15 year old girls.
I gasped, I laughed and then I gasped again. I said, "Omg Joseph did you just duck for your life because of those girls over there? Please tell me you have to throw up and that's the reason, don't let the reason be because you are embarrassed of me," he laughed and said "Mom, are we out of the parking lot?" OMG, it was the reason.
When he got up, he was giggling, and so were my other 3 kids in the back. I said, "could it be Joseph? are you embarrassed to be with your mother on a Thursday night? Aren't I cool enough for you anymore?" He replied, "Mom, they go to my school." School? So?????? Who cares if they go to your school???
You guys don't understand...my son adored me! I was the cool mom, the mom that managed his hockey team, the mom that his friends all talked to, the woman that when he was 2, wanted to marry! That used to be me! What happened? Was I not cool anymore? This sort of thing didn't happen to me! Not me!
I began to tell him that I pulled the move a million times when I was a teenager, but that's because Nonna and Nonno were not cool like me. They were not cool parents, they were parents. Like the parents that people don't want to hang out with, the parent's that were annoying and strict and not fun, those kind of parents. Was that me?
I was so distraught about what had just happened that the next day while visiting Am, my sister, I repeated the story. My sister and her husband burst my bubble. I wasn't cool. I was his mom and no matter how cool I think I really am, i am not!
Life has a very funny way of working itself out. There is a saying in Italian that I will translate, "The wheel turns". Simple enough philosophy. We start off being the students, the ones that learn and listen. We take some pieces of knowledge and we grow. We go through stages and we transition into new ones. We never think that what we learned, what we did and how we behaved would transfer into our little offsprings; we were different, we were us, we were hip. Um, not so much!
I went from being someone's daughter to being someone's mother. I may think that I know it all, i am the coolest, most fashionable and most adorable mother, but guess what...I'm not! I guess I have to be ok with my new "role" of, not so cool mom, although I still have some cool days left with my little ones, but the fact remains, last Thursday, realization came into play.
Diana is not a cool mom, Diana is a mom that her son ducks down to hide from girls, and a mom that has changed her role. But you see, the wheel, it turns, and one day, my cool hand Joseph son will be driving his offspring to the nearest Tim Horton's coffee shop (yes they will still be around) and he will have that same gazed, confused look on his face when his child ducks and disappears in plain site, and when that happens, I guarantee you, he too will think, "What? I'm not cool?"
That's my peace today!
Wednesday, June 29, 2016
Just keep swimming...
Over the weekend i took my kids to watch Finding Dory. It is the sequel to Finding Nemo. Which was one of my favourite movie of all time. The numbers at the box office were astounding, as everyone flocked to the big screen to watch it.
The movie was cute and funny (I won't ruin it for those who have yet to see it). I think Disney has a perfect way of creating wonderful messages for children to capture. The best part though, is that most of the time, the adults are the ones that take those messages and relate them to their own life and experiences.
I have been on this earth for quite some time now. I will not divulge, but i can hint that it is more than 25 and less than 100. :) And, in these many years of my life on this earth I have seen, lived and experienced quite a bit. Some things welcomed, and some, not so much.
Most of us talk about having children as being the pinnacle points in our lives, and for most of us, that holds true, but if i stop and think back to my younger years, I can tell you that i had lots of really important times in my life. Like getting my licence, that was a HUGE deal. It provided a freedom to me that I had never had before, it also came with the responsibility of being safe and paying attention to signs, I'm not going to lie, it was really scary! Then there was my choice of school. After high school I needed to decide who i was going to be for the rest of my life. Really? That's a huge deal, isn't it? I started off in one field and i ended up in a completely different one. I realized that my original choice wasn't for me so I didn't pause and cry, i just moved toward the area of study that was more like me. Which of course turned out to be talking, interviewing, and socializing in the broadcast world, not so terrible. :)
My point is, that in every stage my life was different and filled with different experiences. Very important decisions and choices. Along the way i met some really special people; people that have become very important to me in my adult life. There were also situations that happened to me that didn't feel great or hurt me at the time; and I lived those as well.
When I was little, my parents, like most parents, tried their best to protect me from the world. From all things evil, bad and scary. They did their best to shield me when i needed to be protected, and help me when I was in trouble. The one thing my parents did a great job of, was teaching me how to get up and shake it off. Whether it was from a fall off my bike or a fight with my friend or maybe not achieving what i expected. They didn't allow me to dwell. Instead, they decided to tell me that it was done and over and i need to be strong, move on and it will be ok!
I consider myself to be a logical person, a person that tries her best to live well and be well and love well. I am far from perfect. Anyone who knows me, knows i recognize, that me and perfect are most often, opposite. But i try my best to get up off the bike, rub the blood off my scrapes and get back on.
If we all gave up when it got hard, or when we fell would we ever accomplish what he have? Sometimes the hardest things have the most impact, on who we are and what we discover. I try to mimic my parents's philosophy of "suck it up butter cup", and sometimes i get scowls from my kids because they think I may be a bit harsh, ok, who am I kidding, most people think that sometimes I am a bit harsh. But my kids know that I am trying to teach them that life will get hard, not maybe, but it WILL get hard at times. There will be decisions that they will make that can greatly impact many years of their lives. They will fall and scrape their knees, they will fail at some things, and they will meet people that will intentionally hurt them. And when that happens, I hope and pray that they remember my words and my belief, like the ones my parents taught me.
Staying still when you are hurting or making a big decision to change something, may feel the most comfortable and less complicated, and I understand that. But if you try and get up and push through it, i promise you, that moving feels a lot better in the end. Move forward and be excited for the next day, the next moment and the next happy time. My kids will know that they can get up, move on and just keep swimming, just keep swimming, so they can have the opportunity to discover the world and all things wonderful.
that's my peace today!
The movie was cute and funny (I won't ruin it for those who have yet to see it). I think Disney has a perfect way of creating wonderful messages for children to capture. The best part though, is that most of the time, the adults are the ones that take those messages and relate them to their own life and experiences.
I have been on this earth for quite some time now. I will not divulge, but i can hint that it is more than 25 and less than 100. :) And, in these many years of my life on this earth I have seen, lived and experienced quite a bit. Some things welcomed, and some, not so much.
Most of us talk about having children as being the pinnacle points in our lives, and for most of us, that holds true, but if i stop and think back to my younger years, I can tell you that i had lots of really important times in my life. Like getting my licence, that was a HUGE deal. It provided a freedom to me that I had never had before, it also came with the responsibility of being safe and paying attention to signs, I'm not going to lie, it was really scary! Then there was my choice of school. After high school I needed to decide who i was going to be for the rest of my life. Really? That's a huge deal, isn't it? I started off in one field and i ended up in a completely different one. I realized that my original choice wasn't for me so I didn't pause and cry, i just moved toward the area of study that was more like me. Which of course turned out to be talking, interviewing, and socializing in the broadcast world, not so terrible. :)
My point is, that in every stage my life was different and filled with different experiences. Very important decisions and choices. Along the way i met some really special people; people that have become very important to me in my adult life. There were also situations that happened to me that didn't feel great or hurt me at the time; and I lived those as well.
When I was little, my parents, like most parents, tried their best to protect me from the world. From all things evil, bad and scary. They did their best to shield me when i needed to be protected, and help me when I was in trouble. The one thing my parents did a great job of, was teaching me how to get up and shake it off. Whether it was from a fall off my bike or a fight with my friend or maybe not achieving what i expected. They didn't allow me to dwell. Instead, they decided to tell me that it was done and over and i need to be strong, move on and it will be ok!
I consider myself to be a logical person, a person that tries her best to live well and be well and love well. I am far from perfect. Anyone who knows me, knows i recognize, that me and perfect are most often, opposite. But i try my best to get up off the bike, rub the blood off my scrapes and get back on.
If we all gave up when it got hard, or when we fell would we ever accomplish what he have? Sometimes the hardest things have the most impact, on who we are and what we discover. I try to mimic my parents's philosophy of "suck it up butter cup", and sometimes i get scowls from my kids because they think I may be a bit harsh, ok, who am I kidding, most people think that sometimes I am a bit harsh. But my kids know that I am trying to teach them that life will get hard, not maybe, but it WILL get hard at times. There will be decisions that they will make that can greatly impact many years of their lives. They will fall and scrape their knees, they will fail at some things, and they will meet people that will intentionally hurt them. And when that happens, I hope and pray that they remember my words and my belief, like the ones my parents taught me.
Staying still when you are hurting or making a big decision to change something, may feel the most comfortable and less complicated, and I understand that. But if you try and get up and push through it, i promise you, that moving feels a lot better in the end. Move forward and be excited for the next day, the next moment and the next happy time. My kids will know that they can get up, move on and just keep swimming, just keep swimming, so they can have the opportunity to discover the world and all things wonderful.
that's my peace today!
Tuesday, June 21, 2016
The value of life
We usually only talk about life and how precious it is after we hear something terrible or life altering that happened; an illness or someone who passed away too young, it is then that we take the time to reflect and think about our own lives and the true value of it.
Time is so precious, it is most often taken for granted and it is the most important thing we don't even own. We buy material items because it makes us feel important, it makes us look pretty and it makes us comfortable. Yes people, even 6 inch high heeled shoes make us "comfortable".
We fill our lives with things, items, objects. The latest purse, the hottest pair of shoes and the skinniest of skinniest pair of jeans. I am the first to admit that retail therapy feels damn good. I can just lose myself in a shoe store or a sale rack, and who the hell doesn't love to spend a rainy Saturday afternoon at Homesense??
Life is super stressful and we get mixed up in all the chaos. We go go go and we can't wait for the day to end, only to begin the same routine the next morning. Some of us work full time and have kids in activities, sports and of course homework; lots of it. We maybe take a couple of weeks a year vacationing with the family, spend some hours on the weekends visiting family and friends and then we have to clean the house, make the meals and do grocery shopping in between. Kids have to be showered, bedtime snacks, stories, and sleep time negotiations. I swear, my kids could negotiate with the government if they had a chance. (Who am I kidding, nobody can negotiate with the Canadian government).
My point is that we continue this fast paced cycle and it's not even because we want to, its because we think we have to. We maintain a life we consider to be the right one for our kids. We want to make our children's lives as fun filled, material filled and device filled as we possible can. Why? because they ask us. why do we do it? because we just do. Then something terrible happens, we hear tragic news about a loved one, or something that happened to someone else's child and we pause. We stop in our tracks. We cry and we ache for those parents. We ache for the families and we promise ourselves to never miss an opportunity to hug our kids and tell our parents we love them.
We then begin to talk about how precious life is. How we need to slow down and enjoy our children, because age 7 will never come around again, once they turn 8. We look at pictures of them when they were babies and ask ourselves how the time just went by so quickly. We pray that they will always be safe, happy and healthy. We realize then, how we should enjoy every day as much as we possibly can.
Life is precious and time should be treasured. We are gifts on this earth, we have purpose and meaning. We can treat it the same way we handle babies, puppies and children; with a smile, a soft embrace and protect it from all things evil. Handle it with care, smile at it everyday, laugh when you can make it laugh and always show love! For it is only then, we will truly be able to appreciate the value of life.
That's my peace today
Time is so precious, it is most often taken for granted and it is the most important thing we don't even own. We buy material items because it makes us feel important, it makes us look pretty and it makes us comfortable. Yes people, even 6 inch high heeled shoes make us "comfortable".
We fill our lives with things, items, objects. The latest purse, the hottest pair of shoes and the skinniest of skinniest pair of jeans. I am the first to admit that retail therapy feels damn good. I can just lose myself in a shoe store or a sale rack, and who the hell doesn't love to spend a rainy Saturday afternoon at Homesense??
Life is super stressful and we get mixed up in all the chaos. We go go go and we can't wait for the day to end, only to begin the same routine the next morning. Some of us work full time and have kids in activities, sports and of course homework; lots of it. We maybe take a couple of weeks a year vacationing with the family, spend some hours on the weekends visiting family and friends and then we have to clean the house, make the meals and do grocery shopping in between. Kids have to be showered, bedtime snacks, stories, and sleep time negotiations. I swear, my kids could negotiate with the government if they had a chance. (Who am I kidding, nobody can negotiate with the Canadian government).
My point is that we continue this fast paced cycle and it's not even because we want to, its because we think we have to. We maintain a life we consider to be the right one for our kids. We want to make our children's lives as fun filled, material filled and device filled as we possible can. Why? because they ask us. why do we do it? because we just do. Then something terrible happens, we hear tragic news about a loved one, or something that happened to someone else's child and we pause. We stop in our tracks. We cry and we ache for those parents. We ache for the families and we promise ourselves to never miss an opportunity to hug our kids and tell our parents we love them.
We then begin to talk about how precious life is. How we need to slow down and enjoy our children, because age 7 will never come around again, once they turn 8. We look at pictures of them when they were babies and ask ourselves how the time just went by so quickly. We pray that they will always be safe, happy and healthy. We realize then, how we should enjoy every day as much as we possibly can.
Life is precious and time should be treasured. We are gifts on this earth, we have purpose and meaning. We can treat it the same way we handle babies, puppies and children; with a smile, a soft embrace and protect it from all things evil. Handle it with care, smile at it everyday, laugh when you can make it laugh and always show love! For it is only then, we will truly be able to appreciate the value of life.
That's my peace today
Thursday, June 16, 2016
Hang on, it may just be a bumpy ride!
Life has a funny way of well, being life.
When we are little we were encouraged to roll with the punches, count every day as a blessing and thank the lord every night when we lay our tiny heads on our pillows at night.
As parents we try our hardest to protect our kids from just about everything! When they are newborns its about protecting them from germs so they don't catch a cold, when they are toddlers its about food and choking, and as teens, oh lord, its just about everything! Every street they cross and every person they will encounter, and of course, every picture they share on Instagram!
But as the days pass and the years go by, they learn. They learn that every single day is different and every new experience will make them into who they are. Its challenging though to teach them that. Humans tend to be most comfortable as status quo, stable, untouched and not shifted. Maybe we stay in the same home, at the same job or with the same hair style forever!
Change is scary, it is uncomfortable to most people, and it can actually bring on anxiety to some. But what I have learned over my years of growing up and especially while being a mom, is that without change we cannot grow. If we continue to be who we were without bringing forth our experiences then we would still be that 2 year old toddler that our mothers' protected from choking and drowning. If we choose to accept things just because they are easier, then we will never get to the place we were perhaps meant to be.
Recently I read the book The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, (I actually read it along side my 15 year old son). He had to read it for Grade 9 English class and I thought if I read it with him it would be easier for us to have discussions. I learned a lot by reading this book. Besides learning that a 15 year old doesn't think reading is actually a great pass time, I also learned about our personal journeys. I learned that we all have the opportunity to take a different the path, maybe even the one we were actually meant to follow so we can achieve our personal legend; the person that was placed on this earth.
The main character met people along the way, he opened his heart and his mind to their teachings. He trusted in his belief that the road (scary and challenging) was the road that would potentially bring him the most happiness. Not only was this story a great teaching for my 15 year old son, it also helped me gain perspective of lessons and teachings of others. The main character began to realize that sometimes the safe road is not always the best one. It may be for some, but definitely not for all. And to the ones that choose to take the road less traveled, the road with the scary encounters and questioning directions, it is ok, it is ok to want to go down that road.
Change is scary but it doesn't mean you wont adjust. It may take some time with every alteration you make, but eventually you adapt. We as humans become resilient to our choices, because it is those choices that make us who we were meant to be in the first place. And sometimes when you make changes in your life, those around you don't like it, it makes them feel uncomfortable and it makes them feel out of control. Sometimes people forget what they were taught when they were little; roll with the punches, count your blessings and thank the lord every night for life.
Live a great life, try and be the best person you can be. If that means to stay in that same home with that same haircut then so be it, but if it means something different to you, then so be that too!
Everyone has the right to foster their own legend and to pursue their own personal journey. Treasure and happiness means something different to all of us, make your own definition for both. Take what you learned from your own parents and teach it to your children. The great and fantastic part of that is that your children will hear it differently then how you said it, but that's ok because that is how they want to hear it. Love them, protect them and tell them that change is not bad, at times it is scary, but never let fear stop you from growing.
Life is wonderful and great, at the end, we need to be ok with every choice we have made in our lives. Never regret anything that made you smile. Even if it was a brown fringed suede jacket in Grade 8, if you liked it, then perfect! I hope we can all continue our journey to find our own personal legend, I hope that especially for my own children. And when they do, I will remind them to hang on tight, it may just be a bumpy ride!
That's my peace today!
When we are little we were encouraged to roll with the punches, count every day as a blessing and thank the lord every night when we lay our tiny heads on our pillows at night.
As parents we try our hardest to protect our kids from just about everything! When they are newborns its about protecting them from germs so they don't catch a cold, when they are toddlers its about food and choking, and as teens, oh lord, its just about everything! Every street they cross and every person they will encounter, and of course, every picture they share on Instagram!
But as the days pass and the years go by, they learn. They learn that every single day is different and every new experience will make them into who they are. Its challenging though to teach them that. Humans tend to be most comfortable as status quo, stable, untouched and not shifted. Maybe we stay in the same home, at the same job or with the same hair style forever!
Change is scary, it is uncomfortable to most people, and it can actually bring on anxiety to some. But what I have learned over my years of growing up and especially while being a mom, is that without change we cannot grow. If we continue to be who we were without bringing forth our experiences then we would still be that 2 year old toddler that our mothers' protected from choking and drowning. If we choose to accept things just because they are easier, then we will never get to the place we were perhaps meant to be.
Recently I read the book The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, (I actually read it along side my 15 year old son). He had to read it for Grade 9 English class and I thought if I read it with him it would be easier for us to have discussions. I learned a lot by reading this book. Besides learning that a 15 year old doesn't think reading is actually a great pass time, I also learned about our personal journeys. I learned that we all have the opportunity to take a different the path, maybe even the one we were actually meant to follow so we can achieve our personal legend; the person that was placed on this earth.
The main character met people along the way, he opened his heart and his mind to their teachings. He trusted in his belief that the road (scary and challenging) was the road that would potentially bring him the most happiness. Not only was this story a great teaching for my 15 year old son, it also helped me gain perspective of lessons and teachings of others. The main character began to realize that sometimes the safe road is not always the best one. It may be for some, but definitely not for all. And to the ones that choose to take the road less traveled, the road with the scary encounters and questioning directions, it is ok, it is ok to want to go down that road.
Change is scary but it doesn't mean you wont adjust. It may take some time with every alteration you make, but eventually you adapt. We as humans become resilient to our choices, because it is those choices that make us who we were meant to be in the first place. And sometimes when you make changes in your life, those around you don't like it, it makes them feel uncomfortable and it makes them feel out of control. Sometimes people forget what they were taught when they were little; roll with the punches, count your blessings and thank the lord every night for life.
Live a great life, try and be the best person you can be. If that means to stay in that same home with that same haircut then so be it, but if it means something different to you, then so be that too!
Everyone has the right to foster their own legend and to pursue their own personal journey. Treasure and happiness means something different to all of us, make your own definition for both. Take what you learned from your own parents and teach it to your children. The great and fantastic part of that is that your children will hear it differently then how you said it, but that's ok because that is how they want to hear it. Love them, protect them and tell them that change is not bad, at times it is scary, but never let fear stop you from growing.
Life is wonderful and great, at the end, we need to be ok with every choice we have made in our lives. Never regret anything that made you smile. Even if it was a brown fringed suede jacket in Grade 8, if you liked it, then perfect! I hope we can all continue our journey to find our own personal legend, I hope that especially for my own children. And when they do, I will remind them to hang on tight, it may just be a bumpy ride!
That's my peace today!
Monday, April 23, 2012
Time flies when you're having fun
Today my oldest child is 11 years old. I can't believe it. It feels like yesterday that I found out I was pregnant with him. It feels like just yesterday from the day I brought him home to start our new life together. It feels like just yesterday that he learned how to crawl, and walk and say "ma ma".
When I was growing up I remember my mother and my aunts always saying to me "Enjoy every stage of your life while you are living it, because it passes quickly." Ok maybe they didn't say it that refined, they most likely said it like "Jesus Murphy D, stop trying to act older than you are, because before you know it you will be old like us" ..lol. But their point was not taken because I thought they were lunatics. I thought they were old and that when I was their age, I would be waaaay cooler than them.
Well that time has come, and I am officially the age they were when they would tell me to enjoy my youth. Funny how life works. I find myself telling my daughter to enjoy being a little girl because when you become an adult there is no more excuses for being an idiot..lol. Don't get me wrong, there is no shortage of adults acting like idiots, but it's just not that tolerated after the age of 20.
I try to think back today on how young I was. How inexperienced I was about life and motherhood. I thought I had a plan on how life was going to be. I thought I knew everything about how to make my child behave, how to make my child eat healthy and how to make my child love school. I knew it all...except...I didn't know anything. See this is the crappy part about life. When we are young we are full of energy, full of life and we are also full of sh..t..lol. We know nothing about life. We know nothing about parenthood and we know nothing about almost everything. We look at our own parents and think we will do a way better job than they did.
Well now I fast forward to today. Today I think I know a little more than I did 11 years ago. Today I think I know that we can't "make" our kids love veggies. We can't "make" our kids love math homework. I learned that kids become who they were meant to become. They have their own personalities, they have their own likes and dislikes. I learned that even though I think I am "cool", my son may not share that perception of me..lol. I learned that I have become my mother. Yes, I am ok to accept that fact. (Even though Im still way cooler than her..lol).
11 years ago today I was a 26 year old girl who became a mother to a beautiful baby boy. I had fewer laugh lines, I had tighter thighs, and I had firmer breasts..lol. But 11 years ago I didn't know how to stop a bleeding nose, I didn't know how to bring down a rising fever, and I didn't know how to deal with my child asking me why I lied about telling him there is a Santa and a tooth fairy. Now...I am a pro..lol. At least I think I am?
I think I have learned a little along the way. I think I picked up some good tips and bad tips. Some good tricks and some pretty bad tricks. But the truth is, I am still learning every day. I still have time to learn the stuff that is coming my way. I have accepted the fact that my kids are growing up, and so am I.
The great part about life is that we don't even realize things are happening until they are gone. We don't realize all the lessons, all the wonderful things we are teaching our kids until we see them doing it. We don't realize that life's lessons are best learned when we don't see them. They are learned and remembered once they have passed and left a small imaginary imprint in our minds...we don't remember it at the time, because time flies when we are having fun!
That's my peace today!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
